July 23, 2016

It has been almost one year since the death of Roo… The anniversary date, July 31st, flashes neon in my mind’s calendar.

 

This last year has been like a play – I pretend the role of mother – do the things I am supposed to do, all the while my mind seems to be on repeat… Reliving what was being done on this day last year…

 

My Roo was 18, just graduated high school the previous month and was planning on signing papers for enlistment into the Marine’s with his best friend the next week, August 5th.  His sister, Rin, had just had her 17th birthday a week earlier.  It was a beautiful summer night and the whole world changed, rocked off it’s axis by the loss of the world’s most amazing person – my son – a brother, nephew, grandson, cousin, friend… the world’s most amazing person that so many people never got to meet… though not perfect, he was perfect for me, perfect for my family…

 

This last year has been a year of repeat – another high school graduation, Rin’s, another 18th birthday party to plan, Rin’s… she got her driver’s licence and is driving the car Roo found for her… it’s just a sick, sick play on repeat…

 

The reason I started this blog is to get my crazy thoughts on paper and hopefully someone out there can understand the craziness that is grief with me… Maybe this will help to quiet the tape that continually plays in my mind… maybe.